Coffee Dharma

That Neighbor

Posted on 16. Sep, 2008 by Rob in All, Life, Musings, Older

Most of you are familiar with “that” neighbor.  If you have ever lived in a multi-leveled apartment you are very familiar.  It seems no matter where we move we are forever cursed to have “that” neighbor.

Why is it that so many people have such a hard time with basic apartment living etiquette?  There are a few rules I think should be regulated severely by management for every apartment complex.  Nothing ruins life in an apartment more than having a neighbor who can’t seem to grasp these basic rules.

1. If someone lives below you, STOP STOMPING AROUND YOUR APARTMENT!  It’s not a difficult thing to ask, just walk like a normal person and refrain from playing freakin’ leap frog and dropping bowling balls all day and night.
2. Your smells travel.  If you smoke outside of a person’s open window, it will make it’s way inside their apartment.  If you try and experiment with Indian food, the smell will travel!  Our apartments usually come equipped with exhaust fans, so USE THEM!
3. Not everyone thinks your kid screaming “CATCH ME” at the top of their lungs for hours is cute.  Be a parent and teach your kids some self control!
4. Your music is not everyone’s favorite sleeping soundtrack.  Communal living in the form of apartments often require a pair of freakin’ headphones!
5. It’s wonderful that our apartments come with a common trash area.  There are a few things that may not go into the trash cans though such as your old couch, that TV you no longer need, or your poor departed cat.  It’s also a nice idea to actually get your trash into the massive freakin’ dumpster.  I know that rotten pizza is very heavy but you can do it, I swear.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t own or manage an apartment complex as there would rarely be anyone living there.  I would require an IQ test, common sense aptitude test, and DNA testing to check for inbreeding.  Around here that would likely mean an empty apartment building.

Tags: Life, Musings, Neighborhood